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Kobe, showing great team camaraderie as he watches and laughs at his teammates lifting a trophy nobody cares about.

Another major comeback.
Another Kobe closeout performance.
Another 50-win team defeated.

Boring? This team is making winning look easy. Apparently, the formula for winning is to keep the game within 20 points, after which Kobe would take over.

Deus ex machina (from Encyclopedia Britannica):

• a person or thing that appears or is introduced into a situation suddenly and unexpectedly and provides an artificial or contrived solution to an apparently insoluble difficulty.

The funny thing is, everybody and their mom knows when it’s Kobe time. And nobody can do a damn thing about it. Bruce Bowen? The best perimeter defender in the league, and the media was raving about his ability to keep Kobe off the line.

And why would Kobe need to go to the line when he’s shooting 54% for the series, the best of his career? Oh, the difference why the Cavs couldn’t beat the Spurs last year? Because Bowen shut Lebron down, he took away the drive and forced Lebron to shoot…and he couldn’t.

And what can the Spurs do when Bowen finally gets up on Kobe? Kobe goes right past him, then scores on Duncan at will like he did in the fourth quarter. Wait, isn’t Duncan an 11-time All-Defensive Team defender?

Unstoppable. Jordan who?

P.S. Black Mamba is the stupidest nickname of all time, especially because Kobe made it up for himself, and worse, because Uma Thurman’s character in Kill Bill had that nickname first. Lack of originality is the worse sin. Lack of originality is the original sin, because Adam did the same stupid sh*t Eve was doing.

Deux ex machina. D-E-M. That could be a new chant in the fourth quarter, you dig? You read it here first.

But credit the second unit, particularly Jordan Farmar, for cutting the 17 point lead into a manageable 11. Farmar didn’t back down, he attacked the rim for some spectacular reverse layups. Where was that against the Jazz, Jordie?

One player who didn’t play with guts is Pau Gasol, who played as girly as he walks. I think it’s pretty clear he can’t do anything against Duncan - why do the Lakers keep throwing the ball to him and force him to embarrass himself? It got to the point where he wouldn’t even look for his shot, he would only pop it right back out to Kobe.

Guess what, we already had a guy who did that, Kwame Brown. You’re supposed to do something with the basketball, Meow Gasol.

And how classless was that last second three by Vujacic, when nobody was guarding him to pad the score? But you know what? I love it, because he’s The Machine and machines don’t think. He just created another reason for people to hate him, but he doesn’t care, because Machines don’t feel either.

Speaking of machines, the Spurs are beginning to show signs of their mortality. They remind me of M. Bison in Street Fighter II. The guy was freaking unbeatable, I lost at least 50 bucks worth of quarters losing to M. Bison, until I finally figured out the leg-sweep to get him dizzy, then I would all-you-can his ass out.

Well Spurs, your reign of domination and boredom is over.

It’s Showtime.

“I can get off any time. And in the second half I did that.”

-Kobe Bryant

1st Half - 2 points.
2nd half - 25 points.

3rd quarter - 20 point deficit.
4th quarter - game winning basket, 4-point win

Lakers 89, Spurs 85.
Kobe 1, earthlings 0.

After this game, maybe Odom and Fisher should give their watches back to Kobe.

Jaeger-LeCoultre Master Compressor Chronograph

Kobe gave all his teammates the above watch, each engraved with name and year. Each runs from $7,000 - $10,000 Apparently, the MVP’s unselfish play has expanded beyond the court.

Ira Newble must be feeling pretty good right now.

Kobe A+ : 33 points, 7 assists, 7 rebounds, 49% shooting, balancing patience and trust with taking the game over when we need it, his leadership, this was a great series for Kobe, even by his own standards.

Fisher A+ : 14 points on 57% shooting, 65% from three, 3.5 steals a game, tough defense on Deron Williams, huge, timely baskets, toughness, pulling more than his weight when Farmar was MIA, and setting the tone with Kobe - nothing short of A+.

Odom A+ : 18, 12, 2 blks, 59%, outplaying Carlos Boozer, consistency, clutch three, clutch free throws, moving without the basketball, picking his spots, going up strong and dunking in people’s faces, this is Odom at his very best.

Sasha Vujacic A- : Was the only consistent contributor off our bench, which was absolutely critical considering the Jazz’s significant advantage and Farmar being mostly ineffective. Despite his poor shooting the other game, he was always a major threat that helped keep our spacing, and did a terrific job harassing Korver into a subpar series. What gives him that A is also his incorporation of several strong drives to the basket, which shows an understanding of the game and an expansion of his abilities.

Gasol B: 19, 8, 4 assists, 3 blocks. Despite the point totals, wasn’t a consistent option (got many of his points off broken plays and easy assisted baskets). His rebounding was inconsistent, and he got pushed around way too easily. Complained way too much, didn’t get back on defense. Still, he was productive enough and had his moments, some big blocks, and without him we would have been in trouble. But it wasn’t a great series for Gasol.

Luke Walton D: After having such a terrific first round, Luke just didn’t make an impact on this series at all. Shot was off, couldn’t get anything going, playing time was cut. Still the effort was there, he moved the ball when the offense became stagnant, and most importantly, he was committed to playing defense.

Turiaf D: Like Walton, Turiaf didn’t make a significant impact. He didn’t have a major role. But the energy was there, and he had some terrific blocks.

Farmar F: Two or three plays aside, Farmar was a massive failure. He was incredibly unproductive, and instead invited abuse on both ends of the floor from the Jazz. But he tried hard. Effort didn’t help him though.

Radmanovic F: Seems unfair, since he had excellent shooting percentages and contributed 8 points a night. What gives him the F is that he Failed to play any sort of consistent defense, which was demoralizing to the other 4 guys busting their asses, wouldn’t even switch on defense, didn’t get back on defense, didn’t hustle, didn’t look like he exerted himself at all, the most energy he showed was when he celebrated his good shooting the other game, screaming down the court.

4 games, tied 2-2. Brand New series, which just became a dogfight. True, our victories were beatdowns, the Jazz’s were more like escaping losses. But, momentum is on their side, and certain key points came to my mind. Please add your own.

1. Bench Radmanovic, start Walton or Sasha. This is by far the easiest and biggest positive change we can make for our team. I have a lot of words for Radmanovic, the four-letter kind. Has anybody been so terrible in the playoffs? At least Smush Parker pouted to show that he was a punk. Radmanovic? I just think he doesn’t care. He must be the first guy in the history of the playoffs to not care about playing. That guy is not worthy of purple and gold. I’m ashamed of him.

2. Slap Farmar upside the head.

3. Slap him again, and tell him to find his cajones, retrieve his mojo, and wake the hell up. We need you. Where’d you go? Is this really the same player who received 6th man of the year votes?

4. Fine Gasol every time he complains to the refs. It’s backfiring, Pau. And get your ass back on defense.

5. Dear Kobe: was that you or Tracy McGrady in Game 4? Grabbing your back and jacking up threes, what is that garbage?

I don’t want to see any three-pointers from Kobe, because Brewer or Harpring can’t guard him down low. Actually nobody can, and if they double, that’s where the game opens up for everybody.

I’m fine with Kobe playing hero and all, when he’s HEALTHY. But do we really need to put you down like a wounded animal when you’re not playing within your current limitations?

6. Actually, yes, yes we do. Phil: take Kobe out, just for a few seconds, if only to send a message, when he’s trying to do too much. Also, call some timeouts to stem the tide! Now’s not the time to try to teach character!

7. Walton stop liking your damn fingers after a mistake or missed shot. Trust, it’s not because your fingers were dry.

8. Odom needs to watch this game over and over to see how he CAN play aggressively and perform under adversity. This is the best, meaningful performance I’ve seen Odom play. Focus? Check. Clutch? Check. Rewind? You’d better.

9. Sasha needs to get a shot every 2 or 3 minutes. I’m serious. The guy was en fuego, and he doesn’t even get the ball for the last 10 minutes? What the hell? This is one guy who’s absolutely fearless, who wants to manhug pressure. Take those 10 three-point attempts by Kobe, give em to Sasha, and we win the game.

10. Kill that weak-ass soft zone from the Jazz. Whenever Kobe catches the ball, help defenders are immediately sagging. Where’s the cuts? Where’s the movement off the ball? Did his teammates really expect Kobe to bail them out one on three with a bad back? Move!!! Create a passing lane, what’s with the standing around?

11. Fisher is playing out of his damned mind. I know, that’s not a step. But he is, he’s hitting huge shots and he’s even guarding Deron Williams infinitely better than the younger, quicker Farmar. The guy has so much heart. I don’t care if Fisher bricks all his shots for the rest of his Laker career. At least we know what Fisher is made of, and that’s courage.

The Lakers let this guy get 19 rebounds?

I know Pau Gasol is a soft Euro, but how could he let a Euro with an even softer reputation, a mullet, and a beer gut, grab 19 rebounds?

Bynum is reportedly out for the rest of the playoffs, which doesn’t bode well for the Lakers and their Pillsbury soft frontcourt.

If the Lakers make it to the Finals, they’ll most likely have to face the Boston Celtics’ Kevin Garnett and Kendrick Perkins, or the Detroit Pistons’ Rasheed Wallace, Jason Maxiell, and Antonio McDyess - and they ain’t no Okurs.